Weekend...of...DOOM

I don't want to bore you with the gory details so here is a short list of the things that SUCKED this weekend:
I left my wallet in Bi-Lo and Alex had to go get it for me
I made a brand new recipe and Alex couldn't stand it because the onion pieces were too big
I dropped a glass lid in a store and it shattered all over my feet (which were in sandals)
I tried to buy a kitchen gadget and at the checkout realized I didn't have my wallet (it was still on the counter where Alex left it after getting it from the Bi-Lo for me)
I got pulled over for speeding AND I didn't have my license (it was at home in the aforementioned missing wallet)
I forgot to give Wendy her medication...twice
Pixie ate Wendy's toy purse, necklace and cell phone
I made everyone late Sunday morning
I unknowingly threw Wendy's sunglasses (which she LOVES) out into the backyard and Pixie ate them
I burned the apple dumplings I made for Alex's D&D night with the guys
Wendy keeps saying "douche" and it's entirely possible that she learned that word from me
Here's an even shorter list of the things that were AWESOME this weekend:
I got a new purse because the zipper on my old one broke...
...wait for it...
...thirty minutes after buying myself this new purse (spending money I really couldn't spare) I found out my mother-in-law had just purchased me a new purse for Mother's Day
This was NOT my weekend...