Saturday, September 25, 2010

Gratitude and Questions

Yesterday morning as I drove to work I marveled at the sky. Every imaginable shade and variation of gray, white, yellow, and blue was visible as the remains of last night's rain gently stepped aside to reveal a brand new sky. I miss New Mexico's skies almost every day, here they are always so obscured by trees. (They're everywhere, seriously...) But I do enjoy what the rain does to the sky here in South Carolina. And first thing in the morning on my way to work it is a glory to behold. I was feeling quite lucky to be up and moving about early enough to witness it.
I was also lucky enough to be a part of a lovely musical experience earlier this week when I went to a Jason Mraz concert. He's such a beautiful soul: fun-loving and playful but he also seems to have an element of child-like wonder juxtaposed with a sexy slice of life experiences. I sometimes think that maybe he and I were twins separated at birth - things he says, stuff he does, things he writes about - they all are things I have felt or thought or learned. Too bad we'll never be friends in real life - we'd probably have a ball together.
WHERE ARE YOU NOT BEING YOUR WORD?
I think sometimes I need to work harder at showing Alex how much I love him. Words are how I communicate, but actions are what matter most to him. You think I'd be better at it after six years of marriage, but I suppose much of that time was spent figuring out myself and how to be me in our realtionship. I have a tendency to be way too self-involved. It's just so much easier to understand myself rather than those around me, even those to whom I am closest. How should I show it? I really don't know what would be best. The kinds of things I do for him already he doesn't really seem to want or need. What's a girl to do?
WHAT MAKES YOU WANT TO DANCE?
Really good music, really good company, really high energy. Love, life, mystery, miracles, people, especially children. Friends. Health. Happiness. Sharing and coming together in unity for a purpose somehow greater than any one. Feeling sexy. No worries - although I've noticed that dancing when worried can relieve the pressure of those worries for awhile.

This little girl, dressed like a fairy and fascinated by a flower - that makes me want to dance.

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