Saturday, September 25, 2010

Gratitude and Questions

Yesterday morning as I drove to work I marveled at the sky. Every imaginable shade and variation of gray, white, yellow, and blue was visible as the remains of last night's rain gently stepped aside to reveal a brand new sky. I miss New Mexico's skies almost every day, here they are always so obscured by trees. (They're everywhere, seriously...) But I do enjoy what the rain does to the sky here in South Carolina. And first thing in the morning on my way to work it is a glory to behold. I was feeling quite lucky to be up and moving about early enough to witness it.
I was also lucky enough to be a part of a lovely musical experience earlier this week when I went to a Jason Mraz concert. He's such a beautiful soul: fun-loving and playful but he also seems to have an element of child-like wonder juxtaposed with a sexy slice of life experiences. I sometimes think that maybe he and I were twins separated at birth - things he says, stuff he does, things he writes about - they all are things I have felt or thought or learned. Too bad we'll never be friends in real life - we'd probably have a ball together.
I think sometimes I need to work harder at showing Alex how much I love him. Words are how I communicate, but actions are what matter most to him. You think I'd be better at it after six years of marriage, but I suppose much of that time was spent figuring out myself and how to be me in our realtionship. I have a tendency to be way too self-involved. It's just so much easier to understand myself rather than those around me, even those to whom I am closest. How should I show it? I really don't know what would be best. The kinds of things I do for him already he doesn't really seem to want or need. What's a girl to do?
Really good music, really good company, really high energy. Love, life, mystery, miracles, people, especially children. Friends. Health. Happiness. Sharing and coming together in unity for a purpose somehow greater than any one. Feeling sexy. No worries - although I've noticed that dancing when worried can relieve the pressure of those worries for awhile.

This little girl, dressed like a fairy and fascinated by a flower - that makes me want to dance.

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