Theme: "List of 10 "

• 10 things that make me happy are...

watching my drama students perform
food
sleep
watching my daughter sing and dance
coffee
music
Yankee candle tarts
new clothes (or at least new-to-me)
funny movies & TV shows
being outside (especially by the ocean)

• 10 things that I would love to have for my birthday are...

cupcakes
books
clothes
makeup
movies
flowers
boardgames
recipes & cooking utensils
a porch swing
a hammock chair

• 10 things that I believe in are...

fairies
mermaids
unicorns
wishes
prayers
true love
happily ever after
not seeking revenge
elves
magic

• 10 lessons that I have learned so far in my life are...

you will mess up, in ways that can never be fixed
it's possible to love too much
good friends are vital to sanity
find something you love to do and do it everyday
you don't always have to be productive or a good example
you are always changing, and that's a good thing
if you are nicer to people they will always want to help you
a strong work ethic is invaluable
it's hard to care for yourself, but so important
you don't always have to please them

• 10 things that I hope happen within the next year are...

Alex & I will move into a (much) larger house
Alex will get a job he loves
Alex and I will have a second child
My brother will find love
Desiree and Sam will be able to have a second child
My BCA program will expand
Wendy will become potty trained
the fine arts and public education will receive the funding & support they need
I will become more spiritually active
I will buy a bike

• 10 good books that I have read are...

Practical Magic
Mutant Message Down Under
Peter Pan
The Five People You Meet in Heaven
The Truth About Forever
The Hunger Games Trilogy (The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, Mockingjay)
Stargirl
Neverwhere
the China Garden
Good in Bed

• 10 special people in my life are...

Wendy
Alex
Sami
Nadirah
Mariah
Kristen
Jamie
Carl
Sandor
Dennis

• 10 great movies are...

Fried Green Tomatoes
Amalie
Moulin Rouge
Guys and Dolls
Tangled
Love Actually
The Breakfast Club
How to Train Your Dragon
the Dark Crystal
Empire Records

• 10 skills that I have are...

directing plays
motivating teenagers
multitasking (up to five different things at a time!)
cooking & baking
cleaning & organizing
understanding, analyzing & reinterpreting Shakespeare in contemporary ways
inspiring trust & loyalty in my students
strong work & ensemble ethic
giving Wendy excellent shampoo mohawks while in the tub
making lists of ten :-)

Wendy's very first school picture! Try and tell me my girl isn't gorgeous! Just look at that grin...

Sorry I haven't blogged in awhile - I got show busy, and work busy, and pretty much just life in general busy. I will probably never be one of those chilled out, focused people. I'm just too much TOO MUCH for that kind of lifestyle, know what I mean? Not that I don't envy the simple folk from time to time...

Who are you incomplete with?
I am not completely myself with a LOT of people. Or, more specifically, I am only part of myself with just about everyone. There are so many things I want to hide from so many people. Mistakes I've made (and continue to make), regrets I have, dreams too complex to express, let alone realize. Plus I want you to like me. Always. No matter who you are, no matter how I feel about you. I want you to like me. I want strangers to like me. I want enemies to like me. I want people whose opinions, ideals, and daily lives to which I am utterly indifferent TO LIKE ME. This has ALWAYS been a problem. And my preferred method of dealing with this has been to only reveal to you the parts of myself that I know you will like, so you will like me, you see? I occasionally have been know to turn up, or turn down the volume of certain parts of myself as well, to further support the you-getting-to-like-me thing. Sometime it works. Sometimes it doesn't. Bottom line: I am incomplete with just about everyone I know.

Who are you grateful for?
I am grateful for my daughter most of all. She is the embodiment of delight to me.
I am grateful for my husband, who sees all my light, and still (somehow) loves my dark.
I am grateful for my brother, especially for the week after my daughter was born where I would have self-combusted if he hadn't been around to cook and clean for me.
I am grateful for my parents, who worked so hard for so many years for me and who taught me so much about the very best things in life: God, love, family.
I am grateful for my husband's family, especially my sisters-in-law, who all welcomed me with open arms even though we are all so different, and I know a lot of the time they don't really understand me.
I am grateful for my students who make me feel famous and needed and who TEACH ME every day.
I am grateful for the quiet and forgiving companionship of my cats, and the exuberant and steadfast companionship of my dogs.
I am grateful for the friends I had in college who supported me as I discovered myself, and who added bits of themselves to the mixture that was becoming me so I could keep part of you with me always.
I am grateful to you, right now, for this.

A Conversation with Wendy

As I am getting the wee one ready for her bath last night we have this conversation:

"Momma, you have band-aid?"

"Yes, that's right - I have a band-aid on my arm."

"Why? You hurt?"

"I gave blood today. You see Wendy, I went to the blood drive and after I read a book of instructions and answered some questions a nurse came and put a needle into my arm that was attached to a tube and the tube was attached to a bag. When the needle was put inside my arm my blood went into the bag. The doctors can save it for later in the bag and use it to help someone who is sick - isn't that nice?"

At this point Wendy pauses to consider it all - the explanation I've just given for my boo-boo, my band-aid, and more than a few words she doesn't quite understand yet - like blood and instructions, and needle.

"Isn't that nice?" I prompt.

She looks at me and smiles. "No."

Ah, two-year-olds and their "No's"...
It made me laugh.

Gratitude and Questions

Yesterday morning as I drove to work I marveled at the sky. Every imaginable shade and variation of gray, white, yellow, and blue was visible as the remains of last night's rain gently stepped aside to reveal a brand new sky. I miss New Mexico's skies almost every day, here they are always so obscured by trees. (They're everywhere, seriously...) But I do enjoy what the rain does to the sky here in South Carolina. And first thing in the morning on my way to work it is a glory to behold. I was feeling quite lucky to be up and moving about early enough to witness it.
I was also lucky enough to be a part of a lovely musical experience earlier this week when I went to a Jason Mraz concert. He's such a beautiful soul: fun-loving and playful but he also seems to have an element of child-like wonder juxtaposed with a sexy slice of life experiences. I sometimes think that maybe he and I were twins separated at birth - things he says, stuff he does, things he writes about - they all are things I have felt or thought or learned. Too bad we'll never be friends in real life - we'd probably have a ball together.
WHERE ARE YOU NOT BEING YOUR WORD?
I think sometimes I need to work harder at showing Alex how much I love him. Words are how I communicate, but actions are what matter most to him. You think I'd be better at it after six years of marriage, but I suppose much of that time was spent figuring out myself and how to be me in our realtionship. I have a tendency to be way too self-involved. It's just so much easier to understand myself rather than those around me, even those to whom I am closest. How should I show it? I really don't know what would be best. The kinds of things I do for him already he doesn't really seem to want or need. What's a girl to do?
WHAT MAKES YOU WANT TO DANCE?
Really good music, really good company, really high energy. Love, life, mystery, miracles, people, especially children. Friends. Health. Happiness. Sharing and coming together in unity for a purpose somehow greater than any one. Feeling sexy. No worries - although I've noticed that dancing when worried can relieve the pressure of those worries for awhile.
This little girl, dressed like a fairy and fascinated by a flower - that makes me want to dance.

moving right along

Been working on this Artist's Way thing. Fell behind but am working to keep up with it. Wasn't allowed to read this week (which is why I fell behind reading all your blogs) and as a result have been doing A LOT of cooking - mostly desserts. (Hello cupcakes!!!) Wrote morning pages almost every day this week. Worked out four out of seven days. Went to the beach with Jenny & got free cupcakes - super yummy! Have ideas in my head for things I want to do. Rehearsals are going well; set and costumes are coming right along too. Made a lovely necklace all by myself and bought cupcake earbuds so I can rock out wherever I go.Enjoying my summer and wishing I was better about blogging and doing my artist's dates (haven't really done one yet) but it's nice to have goals! Hope your summer is delicious!

Do you like my new earbuds? I think they're too adorable!

a hopeful postscript & a happy ending

We get to keep Pixie!!!
Alex talked to his dad (who is something of an expert when it comes to dogs) and our vet and both of them feel this was an isolated incident, and an accident at that. They pointed out that not only has she NEVER been aggressive before, she is especially gentle with Wendy. They both agreed that there was really no need to take her to an animal shelter, becasue she posed absolutely no threat. I'm so relieved! I cried a dozen times yesterday - anytime I thought about having to lose Pixie - so I am VERY thankful that this situation worked out so well. Thank you everyone who send me good thoughts, positive vibes & prayers - THEY WORKED! Thank you for your support, and thank for helping me to keep my sweet puppy!

so sad I can hardly take it

This is Pixie and this is the important background information you need to know:
1. She is my dog (Charlie is Alex's dog)
2. She is an unspayed four-year-old Siberian huskey and Pit Bull mix
3. She is terrified of our cats - especially Enjouer - I've had to rescue her from him before when he got her backed into a corner
4. She is super smart (taught herself to fetch) and super energetic (taking her for a walk you realize why huskies were taught to pull sleds)
5. She is insanely protective of her family, including the other animals, Alex, Wendy, myself and our house and yard - she's left my several gifts of dead animals over the years (moles, snakes, rats, squirrels, etc.) which had the audacity to come into our yard without her permission
So here's what happened:
Last night I put the dogs out onto the back porch to get them out from under my feet so I could fix Wendy dinner. Alex heard Charlie barking like a maniac and went out back to yell at him to be quiet. He was out for longer than it normally takes to yell, "Hush up" so I peeked out the window to see what was keeping him. I saw him whacking on something with a broom and then he nose-dived to the ground behind our big tree. I called to him, "What's going on?" And he screamed back to me that Pixie had gotten a cat.
It must have been a stray that wandered into our yard, but when I rushed over to see if I could help, all I could tell from looking at the poor animal was that it most likely was not going to make it - it had parts that should have been on the inside visible on the outside. It was hurt quite badly. Alex told me after it was all over that at first he thought she had a toy doll someone had tossed into our yard the way she was shaking it around, then he realized it was alive and thought she'd somehow gotten ahold of a puppy. He ran over to Pixie with the broom, trying to get her to let go of it without causing further injuries to either animal, and that's when he realized it was a cat.
Alex yelled at me to keep away from the injured cat once he'd gotten it free and asked me to bring him Pixie's collar and leash. When I returned it was just in time to see the wounded cat jump over our fence and run away. Alex hauled Pixie inside and then drew my attention to Charlie. We still aren't 100% sure how it actually happened because Charlie was already limping and crying by the time Alex got outside, but somehow Pixie bit Charlie and hurt him pretty bad. We know it had be an injury caused by her and not the cat becasue the bite marks are too big for a cat. Charlie is still limping and Alex has insisted we take Pixie to an animal shelter.
I'm not disagreeing with him - I understand that living in a house with another dog, three cats, and a small child that one strike in the biting zone means you are out (all animals included). I know that being attacked by dogs when Alex was little doesn't help him to feel any pity for a dog that bites. I know that he is making a hard decision to keep Wendy and four other animals safe.
But...
She's my puppy. She thought she was doing right, protecting us from a strange, intruding animal. I know she only bit Charlie by accident, that she was caught up in the frenzy of protective fury (and yes, I understand that it just as easily could have been Alex, or Wendy who was in the wrong place at the wrong time near Pixie's frenzy) She won't understand why we've suddenly left her in a strange places with scary new smells, new people, and other animals. She'll be scared and confused and as an adult dog may never get adopted again - especially if anyone finds out she bit another dog.
I'm just so sad, and I can't think of anyway to make this any better.