Thursday, May 13, 2010


I don't want to go into too many details but I feel the need to vent so this is gonna be pretty hard to follow, but that's on purpose...sorry...
Seriously? Why are you being that way? I don't understand why we couldn't at least be friends. What on earth could I possibly have done to make you so angry at me that any I attempt I make at communication is completely ignored. I miss you. I still yearn for your approval. I look up to you so much. What in the world have I done?
And you! Seriously? Why? I wish I could tell you the truth about everything, about all the things he did to me. But it's too little too late and it would just come across as pettiness - me trying to use you to hurt him. Maybe that's all it is, deep down dark inside, but if you had any idea, even the smallest hint of an inkling of what he did to me, how he ruined my life forever and I will always bear the stain of his deception, I honestly don't think you'd want to have anything to do with him. You would avoid him like the plague. You would realize that he destroys everything he touches because he only has and only ever will care ONLY about himself.
And as for you, young man... what ill will do bear me, exactly? I seem to recall us parting on good terms. can't we put it all behind us and be buds. I'm not trying to stress you out I just always thought you were neat.
I need to do something - or maybe some things - to help me forgive and move on. Holding onto hurt is not healthy for children or other living things. I just really wish my life wasn't so filled with so many forceful and unavoidable reminders of my past hurts...
P.S. I gave blood yesterday! And that makes me really happy! Something so small, so utterly tiny, and it helps to save lives. I feel cosmic after donating. And the free cookies don't hurt either! ;-)


  1. (big hugs and smiles) Things will get better, but yes, I know how entirely hard it is to move on, especially when someone hurts you so deeply.

  2. okay i dont know what is going on but i hope it gets better and if you need to talk about anything i'm pretty good at listening. :)

  3. Found out some things this week that not only shocked me, but also left me feeling betrayed by people I thought would never do such a thing. I feel unsettled and a little frightened, and remembered this post of yours. I wish i had the courage to do this on my blog, but as I am pusillanimous, I thank you for venting in my stead.

    (Oh, and as I received 3 pints of blood in December, I absolutely think the 2 are connected.)